Gone the way of the Mammoth

I don’t understand why there seems to be a massive movement to save Woolworths. “Because it’s a british institution”, seems to be the canned response, seemingly missing the point that it’s actually just a shop that doesn’t have anyone buying things in it. I know it’s hard to watch the demolition of the store in whose cafe you used to drink coffee with your nan when the government’s swooping in to bail out the banks that chucked her out of her bungalow, but we need to think of the shop assistants here. What you’re proposing is a future in which these people are doomed to stand around wearing aprons in a shop devoid of customers, as people hurry past the window on their way home, to do their christmas shopping on Amazon. Exactly what are we proposing to do to save a shop that doesn’t sell enough shit? I’ve certainly not heard anyone promise to buy more expensive stuff in Woolworths as opposed to online.

Fuck Woolies. It’s just another mammoth chain store that never made it big enough to make people hate it for swallowing their high street. Worry about the tiny, individual shops that are being driven out of business by the unholy megalithic trinity of Ebay, Amazon and… er, I don’t know, snorg tees? It just feels like there should be three. The fact is if you want there to be real, actual shops in the world, you’re going to have to buy things from them. Doing your shopping at Tesco or Walmart all year doesn’t guarantee there’ll be anwhere niche, individual or interesting left when you decide you want them.

This year I bought about 33% of my shopping in actual shops before giving up and buying the rest on Amazon. So just so y’know, none of this shit is coming from a high horse. It’s perfectly acceptable hypocrisy.